Otherwise Engaged

My friend and fellow 90-devotee, Kate, got engaged to my friend Isaac. It's very exciting to see two friends happy and planning their future, sure, but selfishly, of course, my first comment, when Kate shared the good news and asked me to be a bridesmaid was not, "Yes, thank you!" No. It was, "Can I wear Kelly Taylor's dress from Jackie's wedding?" Luckily, Kate got the joke, and Isaac googled the image while we spoke on the phone, and then she laughed.

Coincidentally, Andrea and Jesse just got hitched in reruns this week, which brings up an interesting and somewhat depressing fact. 90210 weddings and engagements are pretty much doomed. I mean, what couple's wedding/engagement can be emulated? Donna and David were ruined in the new show, which is totally enraging.

Think about it.

Marriages:
Jackie and Mel - Knocked up bride, infidelity, break ups
Andrea and Jesse - Knocked up, cheating, divorced?
Steve and Janet - Knocked up (but maybe the happiest couple??)
Dylan and Toni - Bride shot by hit man the day after the wedding, disowned by father for marrying Dylan
Abby and Carl - Annulled the day after, sleeps with his fiance's daughter (Oh, 90210!)
Donna and David - Apparently, doesn't end well
Nat and Joan - Knocked up (I'm sensing a pattern), and Joan vanishes


Engagements:
Brenda and Stuart - Called it off at the altar
Kelly and Brandon - rejected a proposal sophomore year at CU, then called it off at the altar post-college
Bill Taylor and Abby Malone - Abby was left at the altar
Kelly and Matt - called off
Jack McKay and Christine Pettit - Jack allegedly blew up in a car (later learned to be faked)

Now, there are other characters who get engaged or married and we don't KNOW the spouse, and don't see the wedding, so we don't know how it turns out. But maybe Ray Pruit and Wendy are happy. Maybe Celeste Lundy and Tracy Gaylian were better off dating outside "the gang." Muntz seemed happy dancing with his wife to Brian Setzer Orchestra. But I can't say to Kate, "Pick a wedding dress that looks like Celeste's!!" What was it called when people got married in the New Evolution? A muletting? Terri at the Beverly Beat... Dottie, Jim's hot secretary, Leslie Sumner. I'm sure I could think of more. But I think I've made my point.

I guess Nat and Steve are the model grooms. YIKES!

Clare's snoring... Not on retreat?

WHOA. I arrived home in time to catch the end of the "Change Partners." And I have discovered a major plot inconsistency. Kelly shares a cabin at the retreat with Clare. Thus, how is she shocked, next season, when Clare snores loudly when she moves into the beach apartment? This is bothering me.

Polo Sans Prince Carl

Last week I went to a polo match. When informed of this opportunity, my immediate thought was, of course, "Will Prince Carl be there?" Unfortunately, since I live in New York, the polo match was in Saratoga Springs, not Will Rogers State Park. It was for work, so I went online and found amazing shots of Steve Sanders in a band collar shirt with suspenders for fashion inspiration and e-mailed them to my colleagues. However, I threw out my band collar shirts in the '90s. So, I wore a dress instead. I'm not one to turn down an excuse to buy an overpriced dress from Anthropologie.com.

Another "project" I've been working on is figuring out how many times actors appeared on 90210 as two completely independent characters. This idea first came to me years ago when I realized that Stuart Carson was a bellhop in Palm Springs, long before he was Larry Carson's Pepperdine dropout son (PS - I went to Pepperdine for two semesters - rock on, Stuart). Since then, I've come up with three others:

-Kate, Dana's new girlfriend from Season 5 = Random woman in the restroom when Erica gets her period for the first time in Season 4 (technically, I guess she could have been the same woman)
-The casting person in the mouthwash commercial from Season 3 = Emily Valentine's friend and neighbor Rosie in Season 4
-Camille Desmond is one of the weirdest ones, she goes on a double date with Brandon and Steve in Season 8, but turns out to be a lesbian, before she is employed at Now Wear This and dates David Silver

Unfortunately, when I was in the middle of this project, I suffered a computer tragedy. My shih-tzu and I were on the couch when I heard a loud pop, followed by a huge cloud of smoke coming from my laptop's AC adaptor. I stayed surprisingly in focus, and did not start praying ala Kelly Taylor at a Holiday Rave, rather, I unplugged the cord and began screaming expletives at my dog to encourage him to stay far away from the flaming adaptor. Then I brought it outside and when I was convinced it was not a fire hazard, I flung it into the trash and called Dell. After some argument with a call center rep (them: not under warranty, me: safety hazard), they agreed to send me a new cord, provided I mailed back the old one, which, yes, I did have to fish out of the trash. So Dell's getting an AC adaptor with dog poop on it. I explained this on the phone, but they still want it back. It's in a bag in my garage.

So my list of 90210 characters is on my laptop, but I can't use it, because it needs to be plugged in. Who am I missing? There can't only be 4.